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The RIU Palace Macao casino is a pretty simple affair. Smoky air drifts and out of this climate controlled room, and the smell reminded me of old diner-style restaurants with plastic tables found throughout the 1980s. The slot machines were right out of the 80s, too, which was fitting.

The casino isn’t technically owned by the RIU resort, and it shows. Outside of the casino, the staff is warm, friendly, and bends over backwards to accommodate pretty much any request a guest might think of. Seriously, there were times when my jaded American mind thought these people were kidding around with us, but in reality they were just nice people doing their jobs well.

Not so in the casino. The dealers fling cards at the blackjack tables with the mannerisms of a robot, and the pit bosses hover over everything. Because the room itself is already small, these characters might as well be sharing a seat with you.

Over in the corner is a roped off Texas Holdem table, but to get to it you have to get by the shark that greets all newcomers at the door. He’ll entice you with a $20 sample buy in for some “new game” the casino is offering, and those that bite are treated to a quick demonstration that reeks of a shell game. Then he goes and asks for your credit card, and tells you the $20, which you just turned into $1,000 by winning, was just for show.

Oh, did I mention a poker room? Never got there. I left after the demo without spending a dime.

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